Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Stuff Martha will never teach you...

Slippery table cloths?

Smear a good blob of jam (preferrably apricot) on your table, allow to dry to a tack, place new table cloth on table and set as usual.

Crumb ridden floors?

A dog will do. Let him loose in the, usually forbidden, dining room. Floors will be crumb free and salivatically spot mopped.

Stains on carpet? (i.e. Triaminic flu medicine, bubble gum in flavor, BRIGHT RED in color)

If clorox clean-up doesn't get it out, just leave it...along with a larger, slightly bleached, spot. Rearrange furniture.

Tornado warning and a norovirus famdemic*...at the same time?

Pray it doesn't take off the roof. Because all you want to do is stay in that lovely bed...the one that you gave up your child's dance lessons for? ...yep, that one.

*Thanks Kelly Bryson. Not for the bug, the term. Love it*


traci said...

Thanks for the morning laugh. I agree with it all. How many huge spots from crystal light, medicine, etc. do I have on these carpets and try with all my might to get out only to have an additional cleaning agent spot? Lovely.

Kelly Bryson said...

My new word is catching like an obsessical fire! Bwa hahahaha!

Wendie said...

This post came in VERY handy for my sister recently when her daughter spread Mary Kay Night Cream all over her brand new carpet. Can you say coordinating rug? you are brillant Mo!

erin 'n phil said...

hahahaha - LOVE IT! You're the best Martha I know.